Six!
Today is my daughter’s sixth birthday. Six years ago today, I was completely unaware of her presence in the world or that my life was about to change dramatically.
Seven years ago this month, I had begun taking classes to become a foster parent. I had felt this tug from God to do this for a while but like Moses, I kept coming up with reason why I couldn’t do it. When I read an article in the Caroline Progress about the lack of foster parents in our county and that there would be a class for prospective foster parents, I finally decided to do it. I began spending my Saturdays at the Department of Social Services. I traded in the double bed in my guest room for two singles. I started buying used children’s books. I filled out LOTS of paperwork and asked friends to write references. I was preparing myself for a big change. And then the social worker who had taught the class left the county and everything stopped. I had done all I needed to do, but there was nobody there to do what the county needed to do. It took nine months or so of me pestering people and being the squeaky wheel before I finally got the ball rolling again.
I think November, 2011 will always be the most notable month of my life. On the 1st, I had appendicitis and then an appendectomy. I recovered quickly. On the 10th, I was finally approved to become a foster parent. On the 14th, I had foot surgery. On the 18th, as I was on my way to a post-op appointment, I received the call that changed my life. The director of Caroline Social Services called to tell me that they had a possible placement for me. An infant. I had a weekend to prepare for a baby. It all came together and on Monday night, November 21st, I met my daughter. She was so tiny – only 5 pounds. I slept on the couch for a week because I was scared to carry her up the stairs with my surgical boot on. She wouldn’t officially become my daughter for another 16 months, but I was all she had in the world. I didn’t know how long she would be with me, but I knew that the most important thing for her was to attach to another person, so I did my best to make that happen. If I got too attached and then they took her away, I would have to deal with my issues, but if she didn’t get attached, she would suffer for the rest of her life.
The church was there for us. She came to work with me. Heather Hale came in once a week just to hold her. The ladies of the church gave me a shower. People fought over who would hold her during worship (Michelle Williams). She came to band practice on Wednesday nights and fell asleep in my arms even though it was very loud in there! In many ways, she was the church’s baby. I am so thankful that she has been able to grow up in this loving community.
I actually found out that the adoption was final during worship on Easter Sunday. Willis Robertson had been in the judge’s office on Thursday when he signed the papers. They hadn’t notified me yet. Willis told me during the offering at the 8:30 service.
Life as a single mom isn’t easy. Life with a child who still lives with the effects of a birth mother who was a drug addict isn’t always easy. But I am so thankful for this beautiful, smart, strong, stubborn little girl. And I am thankful that God didn’t stop pushing me to become a foster parent. And I am thankful for a church community that has supported us and loved us both.
